Back to square one-
Trooped & annoyed,I returned back to my habitat.Till now it has been one of the worst days of my life and i was in no mood for further misadventure so i decided to call it quits and surrender myself to my soft bed & cushion.As i made myself walk towards my home,I saw few people outside the house of Yudlee.The anxiety made me walk in that direction.The moment i entered his house,my nostrils were filled up with a very suffocating air.The mind felt like trapped in a one-way zone where one has to blindly follow the directions subjected by destiny and My heart raced against time.My feet moved ahead crushing down the heavy air.
The very next scene which my eyes witnessed made a huge impact on my life.It was a moment that i want to lock inside the suitcase and throw away the suitcase somewhere far in the seas of infinity or maybe thousand light years away so that it never hit back my memory ever again.That's how exactly we humans tend to have such exemplary notions but deep inside we all know that in this cosmos somethings are inevitable.Somethings are out of our reach.We can't prevent ourselves from the indefinite nature of life and so we can't prevent death.

Yudlee was flat lying dead in a black wooden coffin.He looked like as if he is resting after a long day of adventure.Calm,composed and contented.Resting forever.
I was petrified to see him in such a manner.I have never seen him so quiet & so stable.I slowly moved towards the coffin and felt like as if i was turning into ice.
I remembered, when we first met he commented on one of my picture in the wallet that it looks like I had seen a dead guy followed by that signature guffaw.There i was standing in front of a dead guy in real this time but instead of meeting him with a sad or horrified face, a smile is being carved on my dry lips.His jokes,laughter,one liners-all were echoing in my empty walls of mind.I wanted to cry as the pain was endless,I wanted to scream as my heart was besieged,I wanted to beat his dead body black & blue till he speak up something but i disallowed myself from doing any of it.Yudlee was gone and so were my bright evenings.Therefore by not shedding tears was my way to pay gratitude to him in return of so many enchanting moments that he gifted me.Tears were never meant for Yudlee.He accepted each decision of life with open arms.He wasn't successful in career,he never had much of money,he was a big time failure in love but despite of all that he managed to smile and make other people smile too.For past few years he had been my shield who gave me moral & emotional support.But now that shield is broken,that support was withdrawn and i was feeling naked and miserable.Perhaps i could have changed all this if i would have stayed back & had my share of drinks with him.That would have made him much happy or maybe he knew what was coming along his way so that could be his last wish.I made him bereft of that.How can i be so selfish bastard?
I cursed myself for the longest time.On a beautifully laid down table two glasses,one empty & the other filled with vodka saw me breaking into pieces.I am sorry my friend...i am sorry...this is all i can say to you.May your lively soul rest in peace.
Somewhere down the corner of a busy street lies a small tea stall which has an antique radio.That radio played the song dekhi zamane ki yaari....bichde sabhi bari bari.

The End is not The End