She,He & I

10:47,11/11/08

The scene of a dingy hospital.My blood was on the floor as i was about to surrender myself to numbness.Thick O positive red droplets were crawling throughout my broken leg,courtesy a fatal blow by a tempo on whose back it was clearly written "when i will grow up...i will become a truck".I think it is realy working hard towards its childhood ambition.

I was made to sit on an uncomfortable couch of the waiting ward as the hospital was facing shortage of beds thanks to the latest success of the mosquitoes in our town.I was pursuading myself that soon it's gonna be alright but it was all in vein.It was never suppose to....perhaps it was just a trailor.

I watched faces with full of pain,grief and frustation towards the administration of hospital.Even the patients who should thank there ladyluck for blessing them with a bed were in no better condition as there were no doctors or very few nurses to attend them.Maybe all the doctors have gone to watch a charity match for the aids awareness program or maybe they are getting lessons from there foreign counterparts that how to cope up with a stampede in a hospital.

Anyways at that point of time these were all secondary issues to me.An incident took place at that very moment that literally gave me a stronger blow then the tempo's one.The moment i was about to bid adieu to that freaky hospital,i saw her.....i saw her from corner of my eyes.Is it realy she??

I opted for a better angle.The guy sitting next to me made a wierd face as if i needed a mental hospital to be cured rather then this one but i didn't cared and tried to put me in a position where the visibility factor increases.Finally i succeeded in my campaign and after disturbing few more of already disturbed patients i came across the fact that it was very much "She"

She... who gave me endless reasons to smile,
She... with whom i shared many intimacy patterns,
She... who knew me inside out and whose company gave me immense pleasures,
and
She... to whom i was just about to call and hear her sweet voice so that i can forget my pain,

She proved to be a pleasent surprise in all the hardships of the hospital and unbearable pain.A smile carved up on my lips and as my throat just prepared itself for calling her name,a face appears from out of the blue.The face of him my not so dear....not so friend.

I saw him tensed and impatient.She was accompanying him.At first i thought of them as brother & sister but very soon clouds of doubt surrounding me took a leave.He hugged her passionately and gave a small kiss on her hand.The body language said it all.They were couple pretty much in love.

It was a standstill moment for me,the one i cannot forget till my last breath.My heart was pounding fiercely,my nerves were forcing my skin for an outburst,my conscience was about to collapse.I went mute and a sound in my ears crept in that happens to be the same when there's a bombardment.The long creeching sound.
The small ill girl sitting on the floor wiped the back of her hand as my tears made a contact.Ill girl saw me and passed me a handkercheif.Her notion that "Men don't cry" went into the thin airs.

She too was in tears but those were not reserved for me but for him.He also had an unfortunate appointment with the unavailable doctors of the hospital.She was acting as his pillar of strenght and here i was witnessing my faith shattering into pieces and with more blood i was also loosing my sanity.My mind was inculcated with bulk of questions that were so hungry for justifications.

WHY SHE DID THAT TO ME??? WHY SHE BETRAYED ME??? WAS SHE JUST PLAYING AROUND WITH ME??? IS SHE HER TWIN SISTER??? WAS SHE JUST MY BEAUTIFUL DREAM??? WAS SHE MERE DEVELOPMENT OF MY OVERSIZE IMAGINATION??

CONFUSION...BLOOD....TEARS.....PAIN.... RAGE ..... all together making a mockery of my so called fairytale

First i was made to know her deeply
...next to crave for her intensely
...then to love her tenderly and
lastly now I am made to cry for her grimmly.

I wanted her to answer all my deserving queries but my words contained no sound but only pain & fury.I felt like screaming till my vocal cords withdraws from its service.I was clueless that why I fall prey to this merciless betrayal.My tears were unstoppable and my pain was undeceaseable.The pityness of mine was quite visible on my face as it made the little ill girl more sad.
He was finding solace in her arms as if he knew that somebody with a broken leg is watching them so he never left a stone unturned to bring out the best of "jealous me".I watched them, though my tears were making the scene blurry but it was enough to make me more an object of sympathy.
She was wearing a off-white salwar kameez with minimal make up.Her hairs were falling down the shoulders.Ears were decked up with silver ear ring.I noticed that her left silver ear ring was broken and loosing out a part of it....maybe a little star that shines in the dark.
Those eyes....those glimmering eyes in which i saw unconditional love for me, no more entice me....that beautiful face that provoked the poet in me is no more an inspiration.

The doctor enters in to scene followed by a quick conversation.His words brought them a world of relief.She smiles.....that same smile that makes me go down on the knees and do anything for her...anything.
Doctor leaves......the space apart the couple decrease....
resulting in a tight hug.That touch bewildered me and i ended up loosing some more salty water from my eyes.

She left with no sign of remorse and on the contrary i was crying over my miseries.
The small ill girl came to me and broke the silence by asking "what happened"?
Still my words were in no mood to take a shape of a proper sentence through which i can convey my agony to her.Meanwhile the little girl placed her hand on my thighs and felt something in my pocket.She questioned "what is in there? "with an anxious look on her face.I acted slowly and inserted my hand in pocket.
The very next second I and the little girl met with a surprise as a little silver star made it's appearance.
Maybe it was part of broken silver ear ring,
maybe it was part of my beautiful past
or maybe it was part to my remembrance of divine love.

I gave that little star to that little girl and left.

There are moments in life one when one feel like digging oneself till the end of the grounds where nothing can be seen,nothing can be heard and nothing can be loved.
The love.....the pain....the anger...the agony......the sympathy.....these emotions make you weak and leave you with no choice but just to act & react like puppets.Sometimes you are bound to feel enchanted and sometimes miserable.